• Burr:

  We squint at the sun because it's bright.

• Hamilton:

  And we squint at people because they're not.

Hamilton: Every Song Summarized

• Alexander Hamilton:

  It's ye home boi Alex

• Aaron Burr, Sir:

  Two college men walk into a bar with three drunkards, and-

• My Shot:

  Do you ever just want to overthrow a government (Featuring Alexander having an existential crisis)

• The Story Of Tonight:

  Painful foreshadowing coming from Laurens

• The Schuyler Sisters:

  its ye home gals angellica eliza AND PEGGY

• Farmers Refuted:

  It's Time For Alexander's Opinion

• You'll Be Back:

  I cannot fucking believe King George III is a yandere

• Right Hand Man:

  Burr needs to call the rejection hotline

• A Winters Ball:

  RELIABLE WITH THE *LADIES*

• Helpless:

  Ye gal Eliza falls for ye boi Alex

• Satisfied:

  Angelica has emotional issues and I want to help her

• The Story Of Tonight Reprise:

  SPIT A VERSE, BURR

• Wait For It:

  Burr spits a verse (Sort of)

• Stay Alive:

  Charles Lee shows up and Laurens is like "We should shoot that guy"

• Ten Duel Commandments:

  Laurens shoots that guy

• Meet Me Inside:

  Alexander gets grounded

• That Would Be Enough:

  HEARTBREAK.

• Guns and Ships:

  L A F A Y E T T E

• History Has It's Eyes On You:

  Don't fuck up because history is always watching

• Yorktown:

  Alexander and Lafayette overthrow a government

• What Comes Next?:

  King George is still a yandere but now he's a Bitter Yandere

• Dear Theodosia:

  THE DAD SONG

• Non-Stop:

  Burr wonders why and how Alexander does things

• What'd I Miss:

  Jeffy boi is done getting high in France and now he's back to get high in America

• Cabinet Battle #1:

  Political debate turns into a rap battle

• Take A Break:

  Alexander says "No" 500000 times

• Say No To This:

  Alexander forgets how to say "No" 500000 times

• The Room Where It Happens:

  Burr needs to call the rejection hotline again

• Schuyler Defeated:

  Alexander throws away Burr's friendship bracelet

• Cabinet Battle #2:

  you must be out oF YOUR GODDAMN MIND-

• Washington On Your Side:

  MOTHERFUCKING SOUTHERN DEMOCRATIC REPUBLICANS

• One Last Time:

  Washington is resigning and Alexander has abandonment issues

• I Know Him:

  JESUS CHRIST THIS WILL BE FUN!!!~

• The Adams Administration:

  Hamilton fucking obliterates John Adams

• We Know:

  Jefferson, Burr, and Madison become the TMZ of the 1700-1800s

• Hurricane:

  Alexander decides to #expose himself

• The Reynolds Pamphlet:

  Alexander probably regrets deciding to #expose himself

• Burn:

  ELIZA DESERVES BETTER THAN THIS

• Blow Us All Away:

  Alexander encourages his son to get in a gun fight and is shocked when he gets shot

• Stay Alive Reprise:

  CRUSHING DEPRESSION

• It's Quiet Uptown:

  EVEN MORE CRUSHING DEPRESSION

• The Election of 1800:

  Jefferson is tired of drama and he just wants politics

• Your Obedient Servant:

  "Fucking fight me, Alex." ~Burr

• Best of Wives and Best of Women:

  WOW EVEN MORE CRUSHING DEPRESSION

• The World Was Wide Enough:

  "Talk shit get hit." ~Burr

• Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story:

  I'M CRYING OVER A FOUNDING FATHER.

• Hercules:

  Did you know that 1 in every 4 people are gay?

• Lafayette:

  That means one of us is gay.

• Alexander:

  I hope it's John.

• Alexander:

  John is cute.